Day 94 - Sum 41, Part 2

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel that the person who I am, or my essence of whom I were in the past is missing, that the person or something behind my thoughts that made me who i am, were no longer there anymore.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel lost without that feeling of having something in the behind of my every thought and decision, that presence of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as a changed person that is not free anymore because of what happened in my past, and that all these things play a big role in who and what I am today.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to go back to that person of who I were back then, and not accept and embrace myself for who I am now, as in the here, in the physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dwell on these emotions and feelings when and as I hear the songs of my bands that I like listening to, or that I used to listen to, and to allow myself to continue down the path of emotions even after I have realised my flag point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my thoughts and feelings control me, in the sense of how I carry myself, how i speak and listen and communicate with other, to try and show them my "pain" in a very indirect way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have been controlled by these thoughts and emotions, by the way of how I am reacting to certain photo's, messages, or conversation with other people that I see or interact with.

I forgive ymself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to go back to my childhood memory and not let go of it, which hinders my movement within the physical reality I life within now, and thus also effecting my experience that I have within the moment of here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create attachments and warm comforting memories of my past with these songs that I have listened to when I was younger.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I was in a world of freedom at that age, to think that I am capable of anything and everything without any consequences, because I am protected by my parent, and by money.

So I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find comfort in money, to believe with money i will be set free of everything that is a bother to me, to believe that money will  give me my happiness and freedom, and everything I wish for.

I also forigve myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find comfort within the idea of my mother/father will always be there to protect me and give me lead/direction within life, and that I see them as a safety net for whenever I fail.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not wanting to take self-responsibility and direction for myself, and be able to be okay with what I do, even if it does turn out in a scenario of which I will need my parents as a safety net.