Day 87 - Not filling the shoes, Part 2

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be triggered into these thoughts and feelings through thinking about “how I am supposed to be” when and around other people, giving me a rush of thoughts on how I am supposed to be when around other people (or grown-ups) and then acting accordingly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be influenced by this reaction/trigger point that I actually change my behaviour, start “acting” grown up, and in the same time hitting some nerves which sometimes make me feel like I can’t fill the shoes, or that I am going to lose myself within them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be smaller than this world, to believe that I need to be big to be able to fill myself with the world, and because of this thought/experience, I feel that I can’t fill the shoes, and take self-responsibility and direction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create doubt within myself because of this experience, and through having this doubt not allowing myself to move myself forward.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I need to be a grown-up to be able to do what “grown-up” people do, instead just be myself, obviously according to where I am, for instance a meet – be professional.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need decades of experience, just to show someone a better way at doing things – learning – and not trust myself where I can actually just show them with real time proof.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I do not appear as a strong/bold person, due to my past experiences, thus define myself as weak, and life up to this experience, whereas I can easily recreate the image I need in an instance – in the physical as here.