Day 45 – Why Hesitate, Part 2

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hesitate before I make a call because of the fact that I can’t see the person and through that know what I might face when speaking to them, basically relying on my judgement which in any case might not be accurate at all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hesitate to make a phone call because I fear that I might not understand the person and have to ask them to explain a concept more than once, in return making them impatient with me and not my understanding.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that the person I am calling might not understand me, and that I have to repeat myself over and over with the person, and then after some repeating they drop the call.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personally when a person drops my call because they could not understand me for the reason being; communication barriers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get impatient with people that do not understand English as well as I do, and in return makes communication very difficult for us both.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hesitate on the phone call because of this communication barrier and therefore creating impatiens and the actually hesitation because I don’t want to struggle with people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be controlled by this impatiens, through hesitating and not wanting to do the calls that I have to, instead of directing myself and push through this challenge I am facing with communicating with other people.

I forgive myself for I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I have confidence just to be proven wrong for when I get into a situation where I do not deal with my work, just to realise that my confidence only lies within my work I do and not in the over all.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to walk within self-direction, instead I walked in confidence which is built upon images, thoughts and patterns which all in all is not real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely on the idea of confidence which exists of images thoughts and patterns to build up the feeling of confidence instead of self-directing myself in every moment of breath, knowing that by being directed by self, I will not be needing confidence as of the fact that I will know what I want and need to do to get to my objective, or to complete it.

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