Saturday 23 August 2014

Day 52 – Comfortability, Part 2

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in uncomfortably throughout my whole life, not taking in the moment as it presents itself and just be HERE, enjoying the moment as it exists in the physical reality which I can see with me eyes, hear with my ears, and experience with my whole being.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted myself and not allowed myself through not accepting myself to be able to be comfortable with myself, and the humans around me, with which I live with each and every day, or even those that I have known for my whole life.

I forgive myself for I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am making other people uncomfortable with my presence, that I have to sit still, say nothing, do nothing and just be there because maybe, just maybe I am disturbing someone, meaning I am only doing this to please everyone without even knowing what or how these people are feeling or experiencing the moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be judge mental about this situation of who is comfortable with me being around, or not, judging people by their looks which in reality is not closely to what they are experiencing within themselves, and therefore I am being a "introvert".

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself and my self-expression for who I am because of the uncomfortably I experience with myself and/or other people around me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that people will judge me if I say something, or being scared that I will say something stupid or senseless and therefore feel uncomfortable when I am speaking (awkwardness basically).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall into a pattern directly after someone has touched my shoulder, or my back when speaking to me, where I would think of the situation for the rest of the day, basically get stuck in that moment, instead of moving with each and every new moment that presents itself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel awkward when I have any type of physical interaction with another human being, not being able to be comfortable with it, or with myself, and always feel like I have to retreat from the moment and get my distance from this human being - not able to express myself because of these thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the other human being I am having physical contact with feels the same way as I do (wants to retreat, or keep the distance because we are having physical contact and this needs to be done for some odd reason?) and because of this thought I am retreating, or generating the distance between us.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel uncomfortable having physical contact with another human being, and therefore feel like the moment will become awkward between me and this human if it continues for too long.

I forgive myself for I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like a stick man within my own skin (stiff) and that I am not able to move around as comfortable as I want to, and therefore I am not really moving in the physical reality of the moment, being still and static.

I frogive myself for I have not yet accepted and allowed myself to be here in the moment as the physical, to need another human being to bring me to the moment of now through the words and actions they are speaking over me, to accept and allow myself to be here within the breathe.

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