Sunday 26 October 2014

Day 72 – Point of Resonance (mugging), Part 5

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want or wish for something bad to happen for me just to be able to dodge my responsibilities, to get a way out of it without working through it, meaning completing my workload.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to crave attention from people just because I feel that I am not getting enough from my environment and the people within.
I forgive myself for I have accepted and allowed myself to have thoughts about horrible things playing out in my mind, where something bad would happen to me or be in my way that stops me from attending my responsibility, to have these thoughts purely because I feel that I want to escape my work, or whatever I have to do.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about bad things happening to me just so people can give me the necessary attention that I feel that I deserve, or crave, and by doing this not realising the effects that these thoughts might have upon me or anyone else.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel that I also want to be the hero of someone, and in this case think that something bad might happen to them, where I will be able to jump in and assist, which in reality we all know that this won’t be the case, and through me having these thoughts will only put the person’s life in danger if it were to happen in reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see the people in my imagination just as play toys, meaning no matter what happens to them, it does not matter, for I believe nothing is real which I am thinking about, but what if these thoughts manifest, then it will be a way different situation. 

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