Day 25 – One Day Off, Part 3

When and as I see myself wishing for a day off at work/home, I stop and I breathe. I realise this is only a pattern playing out, and by following this pattern I hinder the experience of now, meaning instead of doing what I wishes to do on my day off, I sit and wish, instead of actually doing it (whatever I need/want to do) through self-direction and expression.

When and as I see myself wanting to praise myself for the hard work that I have done, I stop and I breathe. I realise this is just self-interest and points of justifications to have time for myself, which will be wasted in instead of being productive in this time at home (or at work).

When and as I see myself being tired and telling myself I am tired the whole time, I stop and I breathe. I realise this is a pattern of limitation with tiredness that only slows me down in my work that is being done, making me unproductive especially when at work.

When and as I see myself procrastinating through not doing as I intend, I stop and I breathe. I realise this is just laziness that is preventing me from going out in the world to explore and create new challenges for myself.

When and as I see myself believing the justifications that I have created for why I should get a day off, I stop and I breathe. I realise these justifications are lies, as of it is just giving me false reason to why I need the day off and making the situation ok for when I do get this day of laziness off from work.

When and as I see myself believing my own justifications/lies and through doing so abusing myself, I stop and I breathe. I realise that this self-abuse is damaging to me, preventing me from living in the moment as here and as now, and limiting my living experience as it is through laziness.

When and as I see myself having the desire to be lazy and not do anything at all, I stop and I breathe. I realise this desire for laziness is hindering me, and not allowing myself to move forward, but instead to stagnate.

I commit and allow myself to let go of the idea that I need the day off from work, as this creates justification on why I need it, and to make it ok for me to think that I need this day of, creating a loop within my mind.

I commit and allow myself to realise that in the moment of thought where I think I am tired, that I stop and breathe, to realise that I am here within this moment and that I am not tired, it is just the mind that is in need of shut down for rest, basically bringing myself back to the moment of here as the physical reality out of the mind where one gets tired.

I commit and allowed myself to live each moment in the breath, to be aware of my physical body, and every part of it, to feel the life within, and to realise I am HERE, not in my past, nor in my future.

Day 23 – One Day Off

Is my mind stuck in a loop? Every day, even on a day off, I am asking myself why can’t I get a day off from work, to just sit at home and chill, but then I realise I am doing it at the moment. That’s the reason for me to be able to ask this question in the first place, because when I am busy I don’t have time to think about this.

I would find that I feel that I have worked hard during the week, and deserve this a day off from work, not needing to go and do my responsible thing as I have to do every day to earn money to be able to survive. Yes, survive.

This was the problem I faced for a year and few months, always wanted that day off and never seemed to get it, even if I had a long weekend, or a 3 weeks holiday. It is as if I am tired the whole time, and then my mind gets stuck in this loop, where it thinks I still need a holiday to rest while, well, resting.

My mind would create any justifications needed to support this idea, where I would use it against myself and I would believe it. That is how one abuses self with lies and justification. You would justify the concept of “getting a day off” through telling yourself you have worked enough this week and needs rest or time to explore the outside world, or you need a little bit of “me” time, or you just need to get out of the money system to be free etc. and this list goes on as you are in the moment of thought, limiting yourself.

The thing is, this is just laziness that acts out, because when I do have the day off, I am not exploring the world, I am not taking the time for myself, and best off all I am not doing anything about the fact that I am trapped within this money system. This is all lies I tell myself just to spend my time in front of the computer or any other “useless” activity, which isn’t “me” time because I am not spending it with me.

The problem here is, I am limited by thoughts, meaning one should not use the mind, but instead take on the challenge of self-responsibility, and with self-direction to direct yourself to do what is necessary in the physical reality of now, and of course within the moment of each breath.  Meaning if you take that day off, you’re not going to spend it playing games, but actually use the time to improve yourself with the “me time” concept, or take on the challenge to get yourself out of the money system (or just accept it, learn how it works exactly and make it better for yourself) and help others in this process.

Through doing this, I’ll already break the loop which my mind is set in, when I feel tired of working.

Next post, applying SF for not taking self-responsible, Self-direction, and the justifications.