Day 95 - Sum 41, Part 3

When and as I see myself longing back to my past, and feel that a part of me is missing, I stop and I breathe. I realise that this is an memory of the past and only attachments of the past and that these attachments will only hinder me from living in the present to my fullest utmost potential.

So I commit myself to let go of this memory of who I was in the past, and to allow myself to live within the moment of what is here, in the physical reality.

When and as I see myself feeling lost within myself, that there is no one in control of my life, not even me, then I stop and I breathe. I realise that this is a situation where I am not the directing principle within my life, and by not being the one directing myself, I will be lost and not knowing what to do.

So I commit myself to as and when I see this point arise, that I then breathe, to create stability within myself, to be focused on self, and then from that point on directing myself, to be the directing principle of my life.

When and as I see myself being trapped, and not as "free" as I used to be as a child, I stop and I breathe, I realise that I am still free, I am not bound to anything, and to see that I am the one in control.

So i commit myself to accept my reality for what it is, and to stop lingering on the past and how things were, and in this instance of realisastion to allow myself to let go of the past and the attachments/ideas I have of it, so that I can live here, in the breathe.

When and as I see myself wanting to revert to my past self, and not accepting my present self, and encourage change from what is here, I stop and I breathe. I realise that this will only create conflict within myself of where I feel that I am not myself, and thus then trying to go back into the past.

So I commit and allow myself to let go of this idea of who I was in the past, and to let go of the person I was in the past, and to instead accept the person for who I am now, and from that point on, within taking self-responsibility change and adjust myself to be the utmost of what I can be.

When and as I see myself dwelling on these songs and the memories of what they bring to me, just to be able to get fix of emotions and attachments, i stop and I breathe, i realise that this will only bring me sadness, and desires of my past and feelings of wanting to go back.

So I commit and allow myself to let go of these attachments and emotions when and as I am listening to these songs, to be able to enjoy the music for what it is, and not for the "fix" of emotions and feelings.

When and as I see myself giving away my power to the emotions and feelings, to such an extend that it "controls" me, I stop and I breathe, I realise that power I give away to these things actually have an physical effect on my body, and its impacting me in a negative way, weakwning my posture.

Also, when and as i see myself giving away my power to these emotions and feeling, I am also letting it (myself) manipulate my environment, and possible others, to show them my "pain" so that they should be "easy" on me, or whatsoever.

So I commit and allow myself to realise that I am the one in control, and thus not giving my power away to these feelings and emotions of my past and how "perfect" it seemed to be, and to allow myself to breathe, to be here, and to be in the physical as life.

When and as I see myself creating comfort within the idea of having lots of money, i stop and I breathe, I realise that money should not be my main focus point of being free, but rather be a tool that can be used to give me freedom to move within place in this world.

So I commit myself to let go of the idea of having lots of money to feel free, and instead start living my life in a sense of where I practice what I preach, which is being free, from inner conflicts and fears.

When and as I see myself taking comfort in the idea of I can always just rely on my parents for support, I stop and I breathe, I realise that by living by this concept i will not only just disable myself from mopving forward, but I will also hinder myself into becoming the greatest, bestest person as I can be, a person that I ought to be, because of this Idea that my parents will always be there to take care and support me.

So i commit myself to let go of this idea, to realise and see that I have to move myself, direct myself and take responsibility for myself to be able to move forward and change the lives of not just everyone I get in contact with, but also my own, in a manner that is best for all.

So again, I commit myself to let go of my past memories of a comforting home, of parents caring, of money always being there for my survival, and start realising that I should be creating my own environment and space, with all of these comforts, but also in the same breathe, be free of it, with no attachments.

 I commit myself to be here, to be aware, to be in the physical reality, in my body, and as my body, within each and every breath I take.

Day 92 – Unsafe, Part 3

When and as I see myself feeling unsafe because of freedom of choice I have within my occupation I stop and I breathe. I realise that this feeling of being unsafe is just because I am not directing self, and taking on the responsibility,

When and as I see myself feeling overwhelmed due to freedom of choice, I stop and I breathe, I realise that I am just displaced within myself, and that I need to re-align my direction and responsibility and thus I commit and allow myself within the moment of the feeling to inhale, make the decision within myself to move myself forward with self-direction and responsibility.

When and as I see myself going into self-doubt and due to the doubt that I will not be moving forward within myself and my occupation, so I stop and I breathe, to see and assess the situation and to allow myself to not doubt but instead go ahead, and make my choice, and even if they are wrong or not the best, this is how I will learn, and gain experience.

When and as I see myself having triggered and activate the point for a train of thoughts to run through my mind by thinking that I am unsafe, I stop and I breathe, I concentrate on my body, fingers and toes, to get my focus off of the thoughts, and get my sense of direction in order. Thus commit myself to focus on the physical, at what is here, in the word that I can see in front of me, and what I need to do next.

When and as I see myself feeling that I will be safe within the system as having a job, working under a boss, I stop and I breathe. I realise that this is just an illusion and that it is actually not as safe as I make myself believe it to be. Thus I commit myself to let go of this believe within myself by realising that I am in control of my reality and what I do within it, thus realising that I am here, in the physical moving myself and my word accordingly to what I need to achieve.

When and as I see myself following within the footsteps of acting and living as if I am a person that is just employed and not realising that I am actually running a business, I stop and I breathe, to realise that I am limiting myself in the aspect of standing firm within my word and my deed, not allowing myself to go out into the business world and speak my word with meaning. I commit and allow myself to take in this responsibility as self, and direct myself within each and every moment that I am walking within my shoes to give it my all, and to live my words that I speak – to be able to reach my true potential within what I am capable of in this point in time.

When and as I see myself feeling or believing that I am incompetent because I have struggles with communicating with ease, I stop and I breathe, I realise that this is a point that will hinder me further in life, and if I do not start using the tools that is being proved to improve myself with, I will keep on having this pattern of feeling incompetent, doubt and fear within myself when speaking to others – again hindering my business and myself from reaching my potentials. I commit and allow myself to when and as I speak, meaning communicating, with other people that the words I use is mine, that I am certain of them, that I understand my own words, and that I speak it off my chest, from within – to feel the flow within body, my chest, to my first instance of opening my mouth as the word is leaving my mouth onto the person I am in contact with, to be sure that I am directing myself, my words, my world – thus self-directing within communicating.

When and as I see myself wanting to be untruthful towards myself, and wanting to settle for less, I stop and I realise that this is not what is best for all, by limiting my myself I am limiting the world, for I have something to offer – as do all – as so I have to play my role, so I commit and allow myself to eradicate this pattern of thoughts by stabilising my body in the physical, first with a breath inhaling-exhaling and be here, to then focus on my reality and my body – finger tips and toes – and from that moment on, implement self-direction and responsibility.

Day 88 - Not filling the shoes, Part 3

When and as I see myself being triggered into a rush of thoughts due to the fact that I am in a group of people, I stop and I breathe, I realise that I have stumbled upon a flag point, and that I have to ground myself within the physical reality, by focusing on my body and my movement to be here, through breathing, so I can slow down and see my change in my own movement and correct it.

When and as I see myself acting as a grown-up, and instead of just being myself I stop, I breathe. I realise that I am now just pretending to be something I am not, and by realising this I can drop the act and be self-directive instead, directing my movement, my words and my whole being.

When and as I see myself feeling small and weak, not being able to “fill the shoes” I stop and I breathe, I realise that this is just an experience because of thoughts that I am having/participating within, and by seeing this I can stop these thoughts, let them go, and take on the self-responsibility and self-direction and move myself forwards into these “shoes” and fill them.

When and as I see myself doubting myself in the case of taking on a responsibility I stop and I breathe, I realise that by the mere fact of doubt that I have within myself will hinder my ability to deliver the task at hand successfully, so within this realisation I can let go of the doubt, and start trusting myself that I will be able to do the task at hand.

When and as I see myself relying on my appearance to make an “big and bold” first impression I stop and I breathe, I realise that this “big and bold” appearance is not just defined by looks, but also by the words spoken and the actions performed by an individual, thus by moving myself within the moment as the physical, self-direction, I will already generate the effect need to “impress” clients, and get the job done.

I commit myself to move within the physical, as breathe, by being here, have my attention out of mind, and in the physical to control my reality and move it toward my set goal.

I commit myself to let go of any doubt I might experience within myself due to thoughts, and allow myself to be here, to support myself by bringing my attention to the physical reality by focusing on my what is here, to implement this I can start focusing on my fingers and toes, expanding my awareness over my whole body.

I commit myself to walk my path of live within the principle of self-direction and self-responsibility, where as any challenges I may find to take them on and move myself to pass the challenge and grow, to “fill” the “shoes” that is needed to be “filled”. 

Day 85 – Realisation of self, Part 3

When and as I see myself not living in wholeness within myself but in separation I stop and I breathe. I realise that by living in such condition will only create conflict within myself and my self-acceptance., so as and when I see this appearance within myself I stop, I take a breath, and I direct myself in the physical to ground myself within acceptance of self.

When and as I see myself not accepting my patterns and beliefs as my own, I stop and I breathe, I realise by not accepting my creations as my own, I am only living in conflict within myself, and by this will create resistance whereas I will not be able to change myself effectively that is best for me and for all.

When and as I see myself comparing my reality and what I do in my reality with those of others, I stop and I breathe, I realise that by comparing realities will not give me the solutions or motivations required to be able to move myself, and this comparison will only create conflict and envy within myself.

When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself to accept the ideas of others, that in return will define me, I stop and I realise that these ideas that others have of me, does not determine who I am nor does it define me for what a kind of person I am.

When and as I see myself falling into the realm of automation within myself, and not being in self-direction and responsibility I stop and I breathe, I take a deep breath in, and out, to ground myself as here in the physical, and take on the challenge of self-responsibility and direction to move myself forward.

When and as I see myself believing I am who I am within these patterns that I exists off, and that these patterns needs to be enhanced to increase or better my living experience, I stop and I breathe to realise that this is in fact not who or what I am, or need to enhance myself, thus I should stop myself, and bring myself to the physical, as here.

I commit and allow myself as who and what I am in this particular moment in time, to accept all my creations within my mind, to walk within these pattern, see the flaws, and by seeing/realising these flaws, then accordingly change/apply corrective application as applicable to become a being of life, as a living expression.

I commit and allow myself to be here, in the physical, be awareness, be life, to live my utmost potential for what is best for all.

Day 82 - Forgotten Skills, Part 3

When and as I see myself feeling embarrassed due to some thoughts I have I stop and I breath, to realise the pattern that I have created and in this instant stop myself, breath, and let go of the thought pattern to realise that I don’t have/need to be affected by who ever is observing me, nor by their thoughts which I am not even aware of.

When and as I see myself feeling deprived from physical work with my hands, whilst reading a book, or just by occupying myself with something other than working with my hands, I stop and I breathe, I realise that this is a trigger point for the emotion, and in the moment stop myself from participating within it, as it will only bring me an empty feeling within myself, which is hindering my experience of the physical reality

I commit and allowed myself to explore and allow myself to experiment with my broken electronics to find out more about them and enjoying myself within the process.

I commit and allow myself to realise that this is something I am good at and don’t have to feel embarrassed by it, for this is an expression of myself which I like to explore and find out more about the world out there.

I commit and allow myself to do these things within the moment of breath, to realise that I am the responsibility of myself and my action and that I am the controller of my world, and what I do to explore the world with is in my hand and my expression.

I commit and allowed myself to live within the physical reality of here, within each and every breath, to be able to live out my fullest, utmost potential without limitations.

Day 79 – Childhood Memories, Part 3

When and as I see myself thinking back into my past just to experience it again, I stop and realise that by doing this action I am only hindering myself through a ride full of feelings instead of doing something more productive, by working, or focusing on what is necessary with self-direction and being here in the physical reality.

When and as I see myself wishing for the time of my childhood I stop and I breathe, I realise that this is just a pattern and an “addiction” for me to linger on these memories as they are fun, but at the same time sad and unnecessary, for it stops me from being here in the reality as it is here.

When and as I see myself attaching feelings towards these memories I stop and I breathe, I realise that this will have an compound effect on my memories and make each time just more saddening when I realise that I am not there anymore, I am a grown man now.

I commit and allow myself to be here in the physical reality as it is, as it presents itself, and to allow myself to live this life with self-direction and responsibility.

I commit and allow myself to accept the fact that my past is my past, it is non-existing, and that I will never be able to go back there, and through accepting this, I commit and allow myself to let go of these memories and the attachments that I have created with them.

I commit and allow myself to be here, in the reality as a grown man, to live in line with “time” and not to distort my reality with my past, so that I may be able to live my life to my utmost potential

Day 76 – Fighting Myself, Part 3

When and as I see myself suppressing my words for when I want to speak up or communicate a point through to another human being, I stop and I breathe, to realise that I am here and that I should be directing myself within this conversation to what I want and need to say, and not to let my words be suppressed.

When and as I see myself getting angry at someone and want to walk away to cool down, I stop and I breathe, to relax myself and to assess the point, to see what it is and why it is that has aggravated me and deal with it.

When and as I see myself not living myself out to the world, to my utmost potential, I stop and I breathe to realise that I am just busy hiding again, behind a mask, and through doing this I am only hindering myself from becoming the person I ought to be. 

When and as I see myself creating conflict with myself I stop and I breath, I realise that this is not a way to resolve the issue that I am having, and through keeping on participating within this conflict I have within myself I am only worsening my situation and not making it any better or creating any solutions.

I commit and allowed myself to live out my words that I have acquired throughout the years of growing up, to say and to express, to be and to live my utmost potential for what is best for me, and for all.

I commit and allow myself to be here in the physical reality for what is here physically and to live it in each and every moment and breath.  

Day 73 – Point of Resonance (mugging), Part 6

I commit and allow myself to let go of these images/thoughts within my mind that creates these scenarios where I or other people get hurt just so that I can dodge my responsibilities, not to attend these responsibilities and handle it off as necessary.

I commit and allow myself to see and realise the patterns that play out when these thoughts pop up in my mind, and through realising, and seeing these patterns to be able to stop them, to let them go and instead of participating in them any further, then to commit and allow myself to be able to accept the challenge and walk the point of responsibility through, allowing myself to be here within the moment, to see what I am capable of doing, and to see what I have to offer to the world as one and as an equal.

I commit and allow myself to stand equal with my thoughts, to stand as them, to accept these thoughts as mine, and from that point on to realise that what I am busy doing is wrong, and will have an impact on my reality and the reality of those around me, thus standing as one and equal with these thoughts I can now move with it to be able to change these thoughts, let go of it, and by doing so create a different resonance which will not attract these muggings and bad influences within my life.

I commit and allow myself to life out my utmost potential, for when I have a responsibility or duty to comply with, I will do so with no resistance toward it, to allow myself to live, to explore and to go out and experience the world, instead of resisting every opportunity I receive.

I commit and allow myself to live in the physical reality of here, for what I can see and observe with my physical eyes, to life for all and not just for myself and my own self-interest.

Day 71 – Point of Resonance (mugging), Part 4

I  forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in a conspiracy and lived my life around it, believing that the world may come to an end, and that there is no use in me studying or living my life in a way that I can make the best of it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the first pieces of information that I have received, basically making me very gullible  toward any information that I receive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not investigate the situation and the information that I have received to be able to make a decision based on common sense, on actually facts and not just that of which the first person told me.

I forgive myself for I have accepted and allowed myself to resist life, to resist myself, to resist information, to resist my future, to resist study, I forgive myself for I have accepted and allowed myself to resist the point of studying for school to be the best student, to live up to my full potential, I forgive myself for I have accepted and allowed myself to resist myself to allow myself to live, to allow myself to be what I can be, to be what I want to be, I forgive myself for I have accepted and allowed myself to resist any information that I receive to not want to participate within it, to acquire  it and to be able to use it, I forgive myself for I have accepted and allowed myself to have a resistance toward life, to not participate within it as I should, to shy away from society, to use it as an excuse not to be seen or heard, not to be present with reality but instead to wish that it can just happen already and get over with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide behind a computer all these years to not deal with reality because of the believe that everything will go to waste, to then resist life, myself, my future, everything within my existence.

I forgive myself for I have accepted and allowed myself to create these patterns of resistance towards my existence and towards myself for I have believed that it all won’t matter in a few short years, and because of these patterns integrated within my mind, I now believe that it is hard to learn or acquire new information and walk with it, as these patterns of resistance keep on holding me back for I have only fed them with energy to allow them to grow, instead of working through them to get over it and to move myself toward my goal, to be able to accept my existence as here as life in the physical, to accept myself and allow myself to be for who I am.

I forgive myself for I have accepted and allowed myself to be in conflict with myself, for being in conflict with everything I am doing – if it is playing computer, working, watching series etc. and through this conflict not being able to do everything I am doing in confidence, or to my utmost potential.

I forgive myself for I have accepted and allowed myself to wish that bad things could happen around me or even with me just so I can have an exit door towards my responsibilities - to get a way out of my responsibilities – and not deal with them for instance working, so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist my work, which leads to negative thoughts, which creates a resonance within me that are attracting these things, and then where these bad things would happen to me eventually.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to even have these thoughts, to have a thought about how I, or a fellow human being get hurt just for me to have the opportunity to dodge work(or any responsibility).

I forgive myself for I have accepted and allowed myself to stand within resistance towards my responsibilities, to not accept my responsibilities and due to that create a conflict within myself that has an effect not only on me but the people around me – everyone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to turn a blind eye towards these thoughts, acting as if they did not exist, but in the same time reacted upon them by consciously having positive thoughts to counter these negative thoughts, creating a battlefield within my mind which I call conflict with myself.

Day 66 – Imbalance, Part 3

When and as I see myself being limited through tiredness, and not wanting to do what I need to do, I stop and I breathe, I realise that this is only a pattern and a limitation, and through not directing myself I will only hinder my way forward.

When and as I see myself creating excuses for not doing something because I feel tired, I stop and I breathe, I realise that this is a pattern and through giving this patter my energy will only slow me down and in essence create an imbalance within my life where I would only get minimum done instead of what I would like to get done.

When and as I see myself participating in back-chat which results in an excuse or anything in relation to holding me back, I stop and I breathe, through doing this I can see and realise what I am busy doing - meaning creating an imbalance - and stop this process and instead stand up, and do what needs to be done.

When and as I see myself concentrating on one aspect of my life, and letting the rest go because of limitations, I stop and I breathe, doing so to be able to realise that this is only slowing me down in my process and my advancement within life, and the things I want and need to get done.

When and as I see myself falling victim for one that has no self-direction/responsibility I stop and I breathe, I realise that without self-direction/responsibility I will only create imbalance within my self which will result only in limitation.

When and as I see myself losing focus on my daily deeds, and not getting it done, I stop and I breathe, I slow down the moment to see and realise the pattern that is playing out and through doing so, I will see that if I follow down onto this path I will then not be able to reach my true potential as for who and what I am.

I commit and allow myself to stand up within these situation - to stand equal with them, to be able to take on the challenge and direct myself, through the supportive application of breathing, realising for what my reality is as here in the physical.

I commit and allow myself to do my daily duties, to stop back-chat and limitation that I have set for myself and to take on the responsibility of self to walk this process of bettering myself and thus my world around me, that is best for me, and for all.

Day 59 – Speaking Up, Part 3

When and as I see myself being nervous around other people while speaking to them, I stop and I breathe, I realise that I have nothing to be afraid of when speaking to them, realise that the information I have is solid, and integrated into my body, and therefore I have no need to be nervous.

When and as I see myself not being serious over my work I do, I stop and I breathe, I relaise that I have to be serious about it, but in the same time I can allow myself to have fun, and make jokes with the people I am dealing with to get them more involved into conversation etc.

When and as I see myself as being a clumsy guy because I don't (or didn't) know how to speak to others, or by becoming nervous about it, I stop and I breathe. I realise that this nervousness is just because I am not used to doing this type of work where I have to deal with people, and by doing this everyday, supporting myself within the breathe and with self-direction I will become better at what I do.

When and as I see myself defying myself as clumsy all over, with everything I do, and not only for when I have to speak, I stop and I breathe. I realise that this is just a believe system, and not who I am.

When and as I see myself wanting to hide from people because I feel shy or whatever, I stop and I breathe, to be able to realise that I will have to go out there and talk to these strangers anyway, in one way or another, and by postponing this will only waste time, where as I should instead take the self-direction and responsibility to do it now.

When and as I see myself believing that I am a weak person just because I have troubles speaking, I stop and I breathe, I realise that this is a point in only one aspect, and this is not who I am, i have my strong points, and weak points, where as I am able to work on both, and through realising this I can take the self-responsibility and self-direction to push through these points to better them, to stand within them as one and as equal to be able to change it from there.

I commit and allow myself to be boundless by the point of weakness I experience through supporting myself by breathing and to realise that I am here in the physical and that I have nothing to be afraid of, meaning I should allow and direct myself to break through this weakness to be able to live my utmost potential.

I commit and allow myself to appear as being a strong person, through standing within my words, within the moment of here as I speak, to mean each and every word, and to be aware of each and every word I use, to make them mine, and to express myself within these words I use, not only for the person I am speaking with, but for myself as well, to be able realise that I am here as breathe, as words, speaking with a strong and clear voice.

Day 53 – Comfortability, Part 3

When and as I see myself being uncomfortable with who or what I am in any situation, I stop and I breathe, I realise that this uncomfortably is just an idea in my head about what other humans might think of me, and that this idea should not define me for who I am or for how I experience the moment, enabling myself to express myself to enjoy the moment in comfortability.

When I see myself as being uncomfortable with any human, if I know them since today, or since the day that I can remember, I stop and I breathe, I realise that by being uncomfortable with myself and the people around me will only take my joy and experience within life away, and hinder me in the process of living out my utmost potential.

When and as I see myself creating the idea within my head that I make other people uncomfortable, I stop and I breathe, I realise that if I am going to channel my energy into this thought that it will only hinder me in this present moment.

When and as I see myself feeling awkward around other people, I stop and I breathe, I realise that this is just thoughts within my mind that generates this feeling and that it is not real, and therefore I can be who I am without feeling awkward or uncomfortable.

When and as I see myself following a pattern of thoughts about physical contact, i stop and I breathe, I realise this is a pattern and that my thoughts are looping within this pattern, and by realising this I can let go of this patter and release myself from thinking about the past moment that is long gone, and allow myself to be here within the present.

When and as I see myself projecting the moment taking place in the present, to see what it might be in the future, I stop and I breathe, I realise by doing this I am not being here with the moment, but instead in the future playing out another reality which does not even exists, and by realising this I can stop myself from continuing on this path, and instead be in the moment of here within the physical reality, expressing myself.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself feeling stiff, or that I am not comfortable within my own body, and that I can't move around as I wish to, I stop and I breathe, I realise by feeling this way is just me not accepting myself and my body for who and what I am, and therefore create a disconnection between myself and my body, (which is one and the same, as I am a body and not just inside of a body or placed in a body that is not mine) and therefore need to breathe and assist myself to bring myself back to reality to realise that my body is me, and that I am my body.

I commit and allow myself to be comfortable in any given situation, to be myself and to be true by being in the moment of here, the present within each and every breath.

I commit and allow myself to accept psychical contact from another person, to feel comfortable and relaxed when such a situation arise and not to project the outcome of the situation.

Day 52 – Comfortability, Part 2

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in uncomfortably throughout my whole life, not taking in the moment as it presents itself and just be HERE, enjoying the moment as it exists in the physical reality which I can see with me eyes, hear with my ears, and experience with my whole being.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted myself and not allowed myself through not accepting myself to be able to be comfortable with myself, and the humans around me, with which I live with each and every day, or even those that I have known for my whole life.

I forgive myself for I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am making other people uncomfortable with my presence, that I have to sit still, say nothing, do nothing and just be there because maybe, just maybe I am disturbing someone, meaning I am only doing this to please everyone without even knowing what or how these people are feeling or experiencing the moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be judge mental about this situation of who is comfortable with me being around, or not, judging people by their looks which in reality is not closely to what they are experiencing within themselves, and therefore I am being a "introvert".

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself and my self-expression for who I am because of the uncomfortably I experience with myself and/or other people around me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that people will judge me if I say something, or being scared that I will say something stupid or senseless and therefore feel uncomfortable when I am speaking (awkwardness basically).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall into a pattern directly after someone has touched my shoulder, or my back when speaking to me, where I would think of the situation for the rest of the day, basically get stuck in that moment, instead of moving with each and every new moment that presents itself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel awkward when I have any type of physical interaction with another human being, not being able to be comfortable with it, or with myself, and always feel like I have to retreat from the moment and get my distance from this human being - not able to express myself because of these thoughts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the other human being I am having physical contact with feels the same way as I do (wants to retreat, or keep the distance because we are having physical contact and this needs to be done for some odd reason?) and because of this thought I am retreating, or generating the distance between us.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel uncomfortable having physical contact with another human being, and therefore feel like the moment will become awkward between me and this human if it continues for too long.

I forgive myself for I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like a stick man within my own skin (stiff) and that I am not able to move around as comfortable as I want to, and therefore I am not really moving in the physical reality of the moment, being still and static.

I frogive myself for I have not yet accepted and allowed myself to be here in the moment as the physical, to need another human being to bring me to the moment of now through the words and actions they are speaking over me, to accept and allow myself to be here within the breathe.

Day 49 – Dealing with Fear, Part 3

When and as I see myself fearing for my life when an epidemic is taking place somewhere in the world, I stop and I breathe. I realise that by fearing this won’t solve my problem, but instead just raise the risk for my own health and well being.

When and as I see myself giving away my power to a fear, allowing it to control and consume me, I stop and I breathe, I realise that this fear is not real, and only made up from my own thoughts and outside knowledge which I have acquired.

When and as I see myself fuelling this fear by creating more and more thoughts within my mind, and creating a fear of loss within this, I stop and I breathe, I realise that the fear isn’t real, and it is only my mind that is putting me in this position, allowing myself to breathe and support myself by realising this to correct my thoughts, and the pattern that it is following, stopping the vicious cycle where my mind creates thoughts based on fear which creates more thoughts and fear... etc.

When and as I see myself wanting to rest, because of the believe that I have, I stop and I breathe, i realise that it is my mind that requires this rest because of a pattern that my mind is following, and that I am not actually physically tired.

When and as I see myself wanting to be lazy, I stop and I breathe, I realise that this is not being me productive, and living my utmost potential and just a lazy pattern I am following, and by following this pattern, I will create a fear for the future.

When and as I see myself wanting to reward myself out of working hard for a short while, i stop and I breathe, I realise that I am only now getting started and that there is no need for rest, for I am young and strong and I have done more hard work than this before, that I am capable of doing what is necessary and giving my utmost potential within what I want to do, and want to achieve.

When and as I see myself sitting back to relax, believing that I will just receive everything from out of nowhere, I stop and I breathe. I see the pattern in this moment, and realise that I should not be sitting still but, actually stand up and go get myself that of which I want to achieve for it shall not be granted to me for free or by not doing anything.

When and as I see myself fearing the future because I am not moving forward at present, I stop and I breathe, I realise I should not fear the future, stop these thoughts about the future and instead start directing myself in the way I want to go.

When and as I see myself not moving, not having self-direction, I don’t stop but, I do breathe and while doing so, I realise that I need to direct myself within each moment of breathe, as here in the physical reality to get myself moving forward and not allowing myself to stagnate within where I am now at the present.

When and as I see myself taking advantage of a situation to be able to rest, I stop and I breathe, i realise that by taking this advantage of the situation will not only have an impact on me, but on other people as well, meaning I live in a point of self-interest and not taking other people into consideration, for when I am standing still, a part of our business is also in a static point in time, not moving forward.

When and as I see myself fighting with my own mind because of a fear I have generated, I stop and I breathe, I realise that both sides of my brain is.. Well mine, and so I should not divide my mind into two side and let them battle, for I am only fighting with myself, where as I can now stop this silly act and instead life out self-direction and self-responsibility within the moment of here, present.

I commit and allow myself to be here, to be in the breathe, to realise what I am doing within the moment, and to see if I am not being directed by self, and by realising this, to take on the self-responsibility to get myself moving in the direction I need to be moving.

I commit and allow myself to stop my fears for they are not real, only made up thoughts within my mind, which creates this reaction within me and then starting to take my life over, and instead to stand as one and as equal with these thoughts and fear to be able to change it for who it is, and to get rid of it for it is not real.

I commit and allow myself to direct myself in the direction I need to go, to allow myself to take on the challenge and responsibility of what life is giving me in the present and give it my all and my utmost potential, unconditionally.

  Get a move on, for more info on memories and thoughts, visit: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com

Day 46 – Why Hesitate, Part 3

When and as I see myself hesitate to make a call because I can’t see the people I am about to talk to, I stop and I breathe. I realise that by stopping myself from doing my work, jsut by not knowing some things is only hindering me and my process of getting the job done.

When and as I see myself fearing the phone call that I am about to make, I stop and I breathe, I realise that this fear is created by me, and is not real, only an obstacle in my way which I have to overcome, and I can do so by assisting and directing myself within the moment of movement.

When and as I see myself fearing miscommunication with another human being, I stop and I breathe, I realise that this is just a communication barrier and that I can overcome this barrier through using different words, and being more clear whilst speaking, and through doing this also realising that fearing this point is only a waste of potential energy that could have being used in making me more productive within the moment.

When and as I see myself taking work personally because of communication barriers, i stop and I breathe, and within this moment I slow down this process to see and to realise what is happening, and by doing this see that I only have to use self-direction within the moment, from one person dropping a call only means that they did not understand me, nothing for me to worry or fear about.

When and as I see myself being impatient with people that does not understand me, I stop and I breathe, I put myself in their position to experience what they are experiencing, realising that I should not be impatient, because I would have wanted the person to explain the concept for me until I understand(when in their position), and instead direct the conversation to a point where we can both touch ground and understand each other, and only then explain the concept in a way they would understand.

When and as I see myself facing inequality within myself and my level of confidence, I stop and I breathe, I Realise that this will only hinder me, and then start directing myself in each and every moment, instead of just relying on concepts and ideas I have of myself.

I commit and allow myself to live in each moment of breath, being here in the physical as it exists, to direct self, to reach my fullest and utmost potential of each and every moment.

I commit and allow myself to stand as one and as equal with my inequalities I face within myself, and to walk with them as they are mine, to embrace them, and then as a final act, change myself in a way that is best for all.

Get a move on, for more info on memories and thoughts, visit: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com

Day 44 – Why Hesitate?

Making phone calls, how silly of me to be scared of a phone call, and pressing the green button that is staring me in the face every single time after I have typed in the number I have to dial, defeated by hesitation, yes, I am. This is the problem I am facing since I have started working at my new company this year.

It started out as a nervous voice ringing through the speaker as I spoke to the person on the other end of the phone,  to a confident person knowing what I wants to say and how to say it but, within all of this, the progress, the build-up of a personality within me towards my clients and the arrangement of appointments, there are still a hesitation every time before I start dialing.

When I am in person I can start talking without fear and hesitation, instead I talk with confidence now because I know what I want to say, I have the discipline to direct myself within the moment now, knowing where I want to take this conversation to, be the king of the world in that moment.

But then again, when back at the office and I have to make a call...

It’s as if I fear the person on the other end of the phone when I have to call them, because I can’t see them, I can’t read them to see if this person will be easy to talk to or difficult and then from that point on direct myself on how to approach the situation becomes difficult.

 So, first, is the problem for my hesitation just a reflection for where I really stand within myself, my direction, my responsibility, confidence and my progress? If I were to be so confident within myself, would I not be able to call a person without hesitation? Because I am confident right and I know exactly what to say and how to say it. Meaning this confidence that I have build is real, or is it?

The only time that I will walk/talk with confidence is when I am busy with my work, meaning I don’t have the confidence yet to go out in the world to be me, to strike up a random conversation with someone, or ask a random person for directions or a question I need an answer to, I only have confidence within one field of my life, and that is my job, not in any other fields.

But then again, what is confidence really? Confidence is build upon an idea you have of yourself, an idea where you are so sure about it that you can scream it out to the world and feel good, even if its horribly wrong... So instead of relying on this concept of confidence, that is actually just screwing you up, I will instead accept the challenge and responsibility to use self-direction within self-honesty, getting behind the real reason for why I want/need confidence within a situation and then take a look at this situation, where I can see what needs to be done and through this get my deeds done by directing self, and not relying on assumed ideas/beliefs.

Get a move on, for more info on memories and thoughts, visit: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com

Day 43 – Poverty is Real, Part 3

When and as I see myself caring only about myself and not taking in account the lives of others, I stop and I breathe. I realise by not taking into account other people and their lives are a point of self-interest a point where I only care about myself and what happens to me, and not them aswell, basically not standing as one and equal, nor standing for all life but only myself.

When and as I see myself forming an idea of people that I have not yet even met before, I stop and breathe, I realise that these thoughts of the people that I have and that I am creating about them are presumptions and this is not for who they really are, but instead that is how I treat these people then.

When and as I see myself as better or superior toward a person with no money/status, I stop and I breathe, I realise that I am this person’s equal, and so are they my equal, an none of us are superior/better than the other - for us all are one and equal.

When and as I see myself living in separation with other people just because they are poor, dangerous or have no education, I stop and I breathe, I realise that I am part of the people of this world, and so am I not separated by this, for us must move as one body together, because a body with only 50% working will not be effective/productive.

When and as I see myself dealing with poor people, and feel that I do not belong here helping them, I stop and I breathe, I realise by reacting up on this feeling will bring us no good, and that I am not being self-directive, but instead being directed with feelings/emotions.

When and as I see myself wishing that I am not there with the people, but behind a screen where I have no problems, I stop and I breathe, I realise that I am giving my energy away on an useless activity: hiding. By giving my energy away to this activity shows that I am not willing to face reality for what it is, and thus trying to escape, instead of standing up for myself, for life, and for all, to help and contribute my part in life, unconditionally.

When and as I see myself fearing that I might end up as poor as these people I stop and I breathe. I realise that this is a fear of the future, and this fear is created by me, for the future, meaning it is actually not real and that I am fearing life.

When and as I see myself clashing/colliding with my imagination/mind about what I am seeing in front of me with my physical eyes, I stop and I breathe, through this breath I realise that what I am seeing is real, and there is no need to deny this because what my eyes observe is fact, is reality, and there is no escape to it.

I commit and allow myself to face reality for what it is, and not try and to avoid it by hiding behind a computer, or in my comfort zone where I do not have to experience it.

I commit and allow myself to stand as one and as equal with each and every human being I encounter within each moment, no matter the age, sex, "race" or status they have.

I commit and allow myself to stand for live, to be here in every moment, to live life to my fullest potential, and to do what is best for all life, unconditionally.

 Get a move on, for more info on memories and thoughts, visit: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com

Day 42 – Poverty is Real, Part 2

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have lived my life in ignorance not taking in account other people and their situation, just so that I can live my life to be successful without caring, and being unconditional.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form an idea about people that I have never even met before, ripping me from my ability to be able to stand as one and as equal with them, to be able to handle them as if they were my friend, and not some bad person that’s only capable of destruction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as better and superior toward poor people just because I have more money, and a bigger house than they have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from these people just because of this idea that I have of them that they are “bad” or “dangerous” people.

I forgive myself that I ahve accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is normal for some people to have it all, and some to have nothing at all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience separation while driving in these poor neighbourhoods, to feel that I am not a part of these people, and that I do not belong here, and that I don’t have to be here to witness it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish that I was not in that area in that moment, because I wish that I did not see these people and the real situation that they are in, because it creates a negative reaction within me, a fear that I might be one of them one day, that I might end up like them one day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like I am in a collision with reality, by not wanting to accept this reality for what it is, and to feel that I want to get out of there because this is too much to see/handle for me at this moment, to see so many, thousands of people suffering every day just because of this inequality within our world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to avoid reality, and wanting to do so by going home and hide behind the computer, where everything is fine, no problems, no people suffering and no people begging for money/food but only me and my “safety zone”, escaping reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sorry for these people, and by this feeling being directed to want to go out of this place, instead of staying and helping, not by giving food/money but giving them a chance to educate themself to be able to work themself out of this situation. (By giving the people money/food will only encourage them to keep on doing nothing but beg, give them a permanent solution, not a temporary one.)

 Get a move on, for more info on memories and thoughts, visit: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com

Day 40 – Ego and rejection, Part 3

When and as I see myself taking a situation personally which will result in a clouded mind, not being able to see the actually point/problem, I stop and I breathe. I realise that by taking this situation personally will only take away my ability to see the point/problem clearly and thus resulting in me getting angry or off the point and not solving the problem effectively.

When and as I see myself allowing myself to feel rejected by someone or some concept, I stop and I breathe. I realise that by allowing this rejection will only create anger, frustration and loneliness within me, where I separate myself from the physical world around me to avoid these experiences any further.

When and as I see myself wanting to share knowledge to help a person, but with and alternative goal, I stop and I breathe, I realise by doing this I am only feeding my ego with the energy that it desires, and in return opens up a possibility of getting “hurt” when one may get rejected in the act of sharing the knowledge.

When and as I see myself feeling offended by the rejection, I stop and I breathe, I realise that I am only offended because of the alternative motive/goal that I had in place, and by seeing this, it clouds my judgement and my ability to see the situation for what it really is.

When and as I see myself experiencing anger and while in its process I allow it to such a point where I can easily lose control of it, I stop and I breathe, I realise that I am the creator of this anger, and that I should not give my power to this anger and allow it to grow so far, for I am the creator of it and so should I be in control of it.

When and as I see myself clouding my mind with these thoughts and ideas for the ego and its advantage, I stop and I breathe. I realise that by doing this, I am only busy wasting away my energy and not being here within the physical reality, as for what the moment is, but somewhere lost in the midst of my mind.

When and as I see myself generating excuses to get myself out of situations, I stop and I breathe, I realise by not dealing with the situation now is being dishonest with self, and a way of escaping reality and the moment of here, postponing my chance to deal with the problem now, onto a later stage.

I commit and allow myself to be directive within a moment of anger, to direct self towards a point where I no longer feed my feelings with energy, to be clouded by them, and by this creating an illusion for what the physical reality really is, not seeing clearly basically.

I commit and allow myself to deal with a situation, rather than to create excuses to get out of it, and assisting self through this process by breathing, being here, and to be self-directive within each and every moment that presents itself.

 Get a move on, for more info on memories and thoughts, visit: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com

Day 39 – Ego and Rejection, Part 2

I forgive myself for I have accepted and allowed myself to take a situation personally, when it was purely meant for a moment of only helping someone out, and not suppose to be a moment for ego boosting, and by taking this situation personal allowing myself to get angry for what has happened.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel rejected within this situation and by feeling rejected creating a negative reaction where I get angry at the person for what has happened, allowing them to get to me and make me feel that my ego is being “hurt”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pass on information with an alternative goal of only gaining an ego boost, where my ego can feel proud of the knowledge it has within and are able to pass on, instead of doing it out of pure innocence, to help the person understanding the program better, and to be more effective through my knowledge I have to give.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be offended by the rejection of my knowledge because of the believe I have, where I believe that one should listen to me when speaking about the program just because of my 2 years experience that I have with it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get angry, and to take it to such a point where it almost feels like my blood is boiling, instead of assisting myself within the breathe to be able to stand within myself, as here and as self direction and responsibility, because through getting angry and seeing red won’t solve the issue where the other party don’t have the time at the specific moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a clouded mind because of my ego and not being able to identify the situation for what it is, and by not being able to identify it, I just jumped in with no concern of the other persons situation, basically just reacting upon my own self-interest and what I think is best for the person and their knowledge at the present time, instead of thinking what is best for all within this situation and the most effective solution.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react upon this self-interest, to use this knowledge as a way to get attention to give myself a little boost with the ego, and being rejected upon this, to become angry.

I forgive myself for I have accepted and allowed myself to use hunger as an excuse for my anger, and to get out of this situation with no conflict, dodging a point of self-honesty/responsibility that I have to face, resolving the issue here in this moment instead of postponing it to a later stage in time.

 Get a move on, for more info on memories and thoughts, visit: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com