Making phone calls, how silly of me to be
scared of a phone call, and pressing the green button that is staring me in the
face every single time after I have typed in the number I have to dial,
defeated by hesitation, yes, I am. This is the problem I am facing since I have
started working at my new company this year.
It started out as a nervous voice ringing
through the speaker as I spoke to the person on the other end of the phone, to a confident person knowing what I wants to
say and how to say it but, within all of this, the progress, the build-up of a
personality within me towards my clients and the arrangement of appointments,
there are still a hesitation every time before I start dialing.
When I am in person I can start talking
without fear and hesitation, instead I talk with confidence now because I know
what I want to say, I have the discipline to direct myself within the moment
now, knowing where I want to take this conversation to, be the king of the
world in that moment.
But then again, when back at the office and
I have to make a call...
It’s as if I fear the person on the other
end of the phone when I have to call them, because I can’t see them, I can’t
read them to see if this person will be easy to talk to or difficult and then
from that point on direct myself on how to approach the situation becomes
difficult.
So,
first, is the problem for my hesitation just a reflection for where I really
stand within myself, my direction, my responsibility, confidence and my
progress? If I were to be so confident within myself, would I not be able to
call a person without hesitation? Because I am confident right and I know
exactly what to say and how to say it. Meaning this confidence that I have
build is real, or is it?
The only time that I will walk/talk with
confidence is when I am busy with my work, meaning I don’t have the confidence
yet to go out in the world to be me, to strike up a random conversation with someone,
or ask a random person for directions or a question I need an answer to, I only
have confidence within one field of my life, and that is my job, not in any
other fields.
But then again, what is confidence really?
Confidence is build upon an idea you have of yourself, an idea where you are so
sure about it that you can scream it out to the world and feel good, even if
its horribly wrong... So instead of relying on this concept of confidence, that
is actually just screwing you up, I will instead accept the challenge and
responsibility to use self-direction within self-honesty, getting behind the
real reason for why I want/need confidence within a situation and then take a
look at this situation, where I can see what needs to be done and through this get
my deeds done by directing self, and not relying on assumed ideas/beliefs.
Get a move on, for more info on memories
and thoughts, visit: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com
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