Day 95 - Sum 41, Part 3

When and as I see myself longing back to my past, and feel that a part of me is missing, I stop and I breathe. I realise that this is an memory of the past and only attachments of the past and that these attachments will only hinder me from living in the present to my fullest utmost potential.

So I commit myself to let go of this memory of who I was in the past, and to allow myself to live within the moment of what is here, in the physical reality.

When and as I see myself feeling lost within myself, that there is no one in control of my life, not even me, then I stop and I breathe. I realise that this is a situation where I am not the directing principle within my life, and by not being the one directing myself, I will be lost and not knowing what to do.

So I commit myself to as and when I see this point arise, that I then breathe, to create stability within myself, to be focused on self, and then from that point on directing myself, to be the directing principle of my life.

When and as I see myself being trapped, and not as "free" as I used to be as a child, I stop and I breathe, I realise that I am still free, I am not bound to anything, and to see that I am the one in control.

So i commit myself to accept my reality for what it is, and to stop lingering on the past and how things were, and in this instance of realisastion to allow myself to let go of the past and the attachments/ideas I have of it, so that I can live here, in the breathe.

When and as I see myself wanting to revert to my past self, and not accepting my present self, and encourage change from what is here, I stop and I breathe. I realise that this will only create conflict within myself of where I feel that I am not myself, and thus then trying to go back into the past.

So I commit and allow myself to let go of this idea of who I was in the past, and to let go of the person I was in the past, and to instead accept the person for who I am now, and from that point on, within taking self-responsibility change and adjust myself to be the utmost of what I can be.

When and as I see myself dwelling on these songs and the memories of what they bring to me, just to be able to get fix of emotions and attachments, i stop and I breathe, i realise that this will only bring me sadness, and desires of my past and feelings of wanting to go back.

So I commit and allow myself to let go of these attachments and emotions when and as I am listening to these songs, to be able to enjoy the music for what it is, and not for the "fix" of emotions and feelings.

When and as I see myself giving away my power to the emotions and feelings, to such an extend that it "controls" me, I stop and I breathe, I realise that power I give away to these things actually have an physical effect on my body, and its impacting me in a negative way, weakwning my posture.

Also, when and as i see myself giving away my power to these emotions and feeling, I am also letting it (myself) manipulate my environment, and possible others, to show them my "pain" so that they should be "easy" on me, or whatsoever.

So I commit and allow myself to realise that I am the one in control, and thus not giving my power away to these feelings and emotions of my past and how "perfect" it seemed to be, and to allow myself to breathe, to be here, and to be in the physical as life.

When and as I see myself creating comfort within the idea of having lots of money, i stop and I breathe, I realise that money should not be my main focus point of being free, but rather be a tool that can be used to give me freedom to move within place in this world.

So I commit myself to let go of the idea of having lots of money to feel free, and instead start living my life in a sense of where I practice what I preach, which is being free, from inner conflicts and fears.

When and as I see myself taking comfort in the idea of I can always just rely on my parents for support, I stop and I breathe, I realise that by living by this concept i will not only just disable myself from mopving forward, but I will also hinder myself into becoming the greatest, bestest person as I can be, a person that I ought to be, because of this Idea that my parents will always be there to take care and support me.

So i commit myself to let go of this idea, to realise and see that I have to move myself, direct myself and take responsibility for myself to be able to move forward and change the lives of not just everyone I get in contact with, but also my own, in a manner that is best for all.

So again, I commit myself to let go of my past memories of a comforting home, of parents caring, of money always being there for my survival, and start realising that I should be creating my own environment and space, with all of these comforts, but also in the same breathe, be free of it, with no attachments.

 I commit myself to be here, to be aware, to be in the physical reality, in my body, and as my body, within each and every breath I take.

Day 89 - Discipline

Let us define the word discipline; develop behaviour by instruction and practice; especially to teach self-control. 

Simply said; it is to make up your bed in the morning without your mother telling you to do so.

It is that self-movement behind your decisions, meaning if today you decide to start jogging every morning at 6am, then you need the discipline to wake up at 6am every day. Get dressed and go jogging.

What do I mean by the self-movement behind your decisions? Well this is that little person in your head, that’s not really there because it is you, your essence, that makes a decision so you can actually make a decision – meaning practically living it and following through on it, otherwise known as a useless thought that is just bugging you for it shows you your lack of discipline.

How many times in your life have you ever had those late-night-bed-time-thoughts? Where you wake up the next morning with nothing changed, but in your mind the previous night you were so motivated and ready to take on the world, to be a better person, to help others, to achieve your dreams, but, just nothing the following day. That happens because you were only in your mind, instead of sleeping, to where you can wake up the next day, be disciplined toward yourself, and actually do these things you did not think about, and change your world.

You learn this new way of discipline by starting small, setting up a task for yourself to do every day for the next 3 to 4 weeks, for instance, looking at myself, I started with making up my bed, I succeeded. After this small task you’ll start to see, hey I can do it, and so you start with your second small task, let’s say you never ate breakfast in the morning, so now, again, start small. Eat a light meal every morning, get that metabolism working.

After this, you’ll get that realisation again, again! You’ll see that you can do anything that is possible, in the physical, as here, as YOU, as YOU are making these decision now, making (creating) that self-movement, and so apply it in you practical everyday life. This new sense of discipline obviously requires you to take small steps - as one will not jump into the middle of the ocean not knowing how to swim yet. So, Instead of losing hours of sleep thinking about motivational shit, and not gaining anything from it, except for disappointment the day after, go to sleep, get your rest in and get your discipline in order.

Day 88 - Not filling the shoes, Part 3

When and as I see myself being triggered into a rush of thoughts due to the fact that I am in a group of people, I stop and I breathe, I realise that I have stumbled upon a flag point, and that I have to ground myself within the physical reality, by focusing on my body and my movement to be here, through breathing, so I can slow down and see my change in my own movement and correct it.

When and as I see myself acting as a grown-up, and instead of just being myself I stop, I breathe. I realise that I am now just pretending to be something I am not, and by realising this I can drop the act and be self-directive instead, directing my movement, my words and my whole being.

When and as I see myself feeling small and weak, not being able to “fill the shoes” I stop and I breathe, I realise that this is just an experience because of thoughts that I am having/participating within, and by seeing this I can stop these thoughts, let them go, and take on the self-responsibility and self-direction and move myself forwards into these “shoes” and fill them.

When and as I see myself doubting myself in the case of taking on a responsibility I stop and I breathe, I realise that by the mere fact of doubt that I have within myself will hinder my ability to deliver the task at hand successfully, so within this realisation I can let go of the doubt, and start trusting myself that I will be able to do the task at hand.

When and as I see myself relying on my appearance to make an “big and bold” first impression I stop and I breathe, I realise that this “big and bold” appearance is not just defined by looks, but also by the words spoken and the actions performed by an individual, thus by moving myself within the moment as the physical, self-direction, I will already generate the effect need to “impress” clients, and get the job done.

I commit myself to move within the physical, as breathe, by being here, have my attention out of mind, and in the physical to control my reality and move it toward my set goal.

I commit myself to let go of any doubt I might experience within myself due to thoughts, and allow myself to be here, to support myself by bringing my attention to the physical reality by focusing on my what is here, to implement this I can start focusing on my fingers and toes, expanding my awareness over my whole body.

I commit myself to walk my path of live within the principle of self-direction and self-responsibility, where as any challenges I may find to take them on and move myself to pass the challenge and grow, to “fill” the “shoes” that is needed to be “filled”.