Day 59 – Speaking Up, Part 3

When and as I see myself being nervous around other people while speaking to them, I stop and I breathe, I realise that I have nothing to be afraid of when speaking to them, realise that the information I have is solid, and integrated into my body, and therefore I have no need to be nervous.

When and as I see myself not being serious over my work I do, I stop and I breathe, I relaise that I have to be serious about it, but in the same time I can allow myself to have fun, and make jokes with the people I am dealing with to get them more involved into conversation etc.

When and as I see myself as being a clumsy guy because I don't (or didn't) know how to speak to others, or by becoming nervous about it, I stop and I breathe. I realise that this nervousness is just because I am not used to doing this type of work where I have to deal with people, and by doing this everyday, supporting myself within the breathe and with self-direction I will become better at what I do.

When and as I see myself defying myself as clumsy all over, with everything I do, and not only for when I have to speak, I stop and I breathe. I realise that this is just a believe system, and not who I am.

When and as I see myself wanting to hide from people because I feel shy or whatever, I stop and I breathe, to be able to realise that I will have to go out there and talk to these strangers anyway, in one way or another, and by postponing this will only waste time, where as I should instead take the self-direction and responsibility to do it now.

When and as I see myself believing that I am a weak person just because I have troubles speaking, I stop and I breathe, I realise that this is a point in only one aspect, and this is not who I am, i have my strong points, and weak points, where as I am able to work on both, and through realising this I can take the self-responsibility and self-direction to push through these points to better them, to stand within them as one and as equal to be able to change it from there.

I commit and allow myself to be boundless by the point of weakness I experience through supporting myself by breathing and to realise that I am here in the physical and that I have nothing to be afraid of, meaning I should allow and direct myself to break through this weakness to be able to live my utmost potential.

I commit and allow myself to appear as being a strong person, through standing within my words, within the moment of here as I speak, to mean each and every word, and to be aware of each and every word I use, to make them mine, and to express myself within these words I use, not only for the person I am speaking with, but for myself as well, to be able realise that I am here as breathe, as words, speaking with a strong and clear voice.

Day 40 – Ego and rejection, Part 3

When and as I see myself taking a situation personally which will result in a clouded mind, not being able to see the actually point/problem, I stop and I breathe. I realise that by taking this situation personally will only take away my ability to see the point/problem clearly and thus resulting in me getting angry or off the point and not solving the problem effectively.

When and as I see myself allowing myself to feel rejected by someone or some concept, I stop and I breathe. I realise that by allowing this rejection will only create anger, frustration and loneliness within me, where I separate myself from the physical world around me to avoid these experiences any further.

When and as I see myself wanting to share knowledge to help a person, but with and alternative goal, I stop and I breathe, I realise by doing this I am only feeding my ego with the energy that it desires, and in return opens up a possibility of getting “hurt” when one may get rejected in the act of sharing the knowledge.

When and as I see myself feeling offended by the rejection, I stop and I breathe, I realise that I am only offended because of the alternative motive/goal that I had in place, and by seeing this, it clouds my judgement and my ability to see the situation for what it really is.

When and as I see myself experiencing anger and while in its process I allow it to such a point where I can easily lose control of it, I stop and I breathe, I realise that I am the creator of this anger, and that I should not give my power to this anger and allow it to grow so far, for I am the creator of it and so should I be in control of it.

When and as I see myself clouding my mind with these thoughts and ideas for the ego and its advantage, I stop and I breathe. I realise that by doing this, I am only busy wasting away my energy and not being here within the physical reality, as for what the moment is, but somewhere lost in the midst of my mind.

When and as I see myself generating excuses to get myself out of situations, I stop and I breathe, I realise by not dealing with the situation now is being dishonest with self, and a way of escaping reality and the moment of here, postponing my chance to deal with the problem now, onto a later stage.

I commit and allow myself to be directive within a moment of anger, to direct self towards a point where I no longer feed my feelings with energy, to be clouded by them, and by this creating an illusion for what the physical reality really is, not seeing clearly basically.

I commit and allow myself to deal with a situation, rather than to create excuses to get out of it, and assisting self through this process by breathing, being here, and to be self-directive within each and every moment that presents itself.

 Get a move on, for more info on memories and thoughts, visit: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com

Day 24 – One Day Off, Part 2

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish for a day off at work, creating a loop within my mind, where as it will be activated when I am not busy, and also not in the moment of now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to praise myself by taking a day of, because I have worked too much in the past week, creating further effects such as justification/lies that I am telling myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am tired the whole time and need some rest, even thou I have not really done anything physically, just been sitting the whole day working/playing on the computer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to procrastinate life, through not doing as I direct myself to do, basically not using self-direction, where as I get stuck in front of a computer, instead of exploring my world/environment around me.

I forgive myself for that I have accepted and allowed myself to create justification in the concept of getting a day off, and then believe in these justification, fooling me by lying and abusing myself within this process of believes that I have created.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be abused by myself, in the sense of believing the lies I tell myself, in the form of justifications.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the lies I tell myself, and by believing the lies, limiting myself because I know that I will not do these thing that I am telling myself that I am going to do, that is why it is a lie when it is being told.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be lazy, to sit at home and do nothing, to let the laziness take control of me never allowing me to move forward with self-direction within the moment of breath.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to take on the challenge, the self-responsibility and self-direction upon the point of laziness, to be able to get up and out of my chair and to move to where I want and need to be, expressing myself within whatever I want to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let the pattern of laziness get to me, to take me out of the moment of now, projecting me into the future where I have the day off, while having the day off, and to see and wish for things to do, or telling myself I will and need to do it and going to do it, where as it never gets done, creating believable lies within me, where as I would abuse myself with over and over.

Day 22 – Uncertainty, Part 3

When and as I see myself separating myself from the words that I am about to speak, I stop and I breathe, I realise that I am the creator of these words that I am about to use, and should stand as one and as equal with them, as of it is mine to be expressed through me within the moment and the physical reality of now.

When and as I see myself fearing the words that I have created, I stop and I breath, I realise this fear has power over me, only if I give it the power needed to be in control of me, and with this realisation I assist myself through breathing, and being here in the physical to move through this point, and to see there is no need for fear, for my own words that I create.

When and as I see myself not standing as one and equal with my words, creating uncertainty, I stop and a I breathe, I realise these words are mine to use, as I am the creator of these words, and so do not have to be uncertain of it, while seeing that it is mine, so should I stand within them, as I express it.

When and as I see myself doubting my own words through known facts/personal experiences I stop and I breathe. I realise these events/information lies within my body, as mine and that I have no reason to doubt it, for it is mine, integrated within my physical body.

When and as I see myself creating scenarios in my mind before and event, i stop and I breathe, I realise this is a pattern playing out, and through this realisation I breathe and bring myself back to the moment of here, where as if I would continue I would create unnecessary stress for myself and the words I am about to use.

When and as I see myself just rambling of with my words, and not being self-directive with what I want to say, I stop and I breathe,  or rather slow down in this situation, and realise that I am not making sense, or speaking in confusion.

I commit and allow myself to be directive with my words that I want to use while speaking, saying what I need to say, and being certain within my words as I speak them.

I commit and allow myself to enjoy my conversations I have with other people, not to rush it off and get it over and done with.

I commit myself to express myself within the moment of conversation, saying what I want to say, and be creative, but sure to get the message across.

I commit myself to breathe in, before speaking, and as soon as I start to breathe out, to speak my words loud and clear in the correct order without being in a hurry to get it over and done with.

I commit myself to be here, in the present moment of the physical reality that I experience.

Day 18 – Music & Ego, Part 2

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a reality within my own mind, as a memory through listening to music, for the sake of self-interest, and my ego, where this ego gets everything that it wants enjoying every moment of it, until it brings me back to reality, to set me off in sadness, depression, longing for such a life, wanting my childhood back.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe within this memory that I am the best, the coolest and most intellectual being of all, creating a barrier between me and my fellow  equal human beings, dividing us in separation and not standing as one and equal with them within this memory, where as my ego is the one “standing out” above all with these ideas/concepts of self within this memory I have created within this song.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that this is just a made up memory where I feed my ego with power over me, allowing it to control me within the moment as I am listening to the song “Man Overboard”.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to accept the fact that life has moved on, that I have responsibility now, that I have responsible for myself and no one else is responsible for me, and whatever I do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire the girl of my dreams, while I know that this girl does not exist, because it is a made up mind construct of believe, where one believe that there is this girl out there specially made just for you, instead of realising that all is one and equal, none is better than the other, or special in some kind of way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am special within this memory that I have made up when listening to this song, to think that there is something about me, that I have and others does not have creating separation within me and the physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel trapped when I experience disillusionment when the memory is done playing within my mind, when thinking of where I am free, and not bound by the systems and patterns of the mind, and through experiencing this, feel depressed, sad and trapped within self, and the world around me, not able to move within the moment of breath in the physical reality.

I forgive myself for I have accepted and allowed myself to worry/fear what other might think of me, that there words and thought have an influence on me and the way I react and do things within this world, That I accept and allow their words and thoughts to shape me into the person I think I am today.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself by the words and thoughts of others, abusing myself through living in a lie, where I believe I am who I am because of what others tell me to be, through me accepting these words, instead of standing as self, in the moment of breath as who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel lonely/sad when listening to this song because of the fact that none of these memories are true, and through this, actually enjoying the sadness, because somehow somewhere I might get attention out of it, even if I am hiding it for everyone I know.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be controlled by the negative emotions/attachments toward this memory I have created within my mind by listening to this song.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my ego play games with me, controlling my emotions and in the end controlling me, deciding for me what to feel when, and for how long.

Day 16 – Is this the Real Life or an RPG? Part 3

When and as I see myself creating an illusion within my mind, which I experience as “real” I stop and I breathe. I realise that it is only an illusion, and my reality is here at the moment as what I see it with my physical eyes, which means I embrace the place and the people around me, as real, physical reality.

When and as I see myself creating little boxes for people to identify them with, as higher, lower, or equal to me, I stop and I breathe. I realise that we all have the equal chance to live this life within the moment that is here and now in the physical reality, with no separation, groupings, and little boxes/levels to identify each other.

When and as I see myself experiencing a moment where no one and nothing is real, a moment of me separating myself from reality, I stop and I BREATHE. I realise that this is just an illusion, and this experience is the actually experience that is not real, so I assist and support myself through breathing and bringing myself back to the physical reality what is here and now.

When and as I see myself creating a barrier between me and reality, I stop and I breathe. I realise this is my mind playing its part in self-interest, wanting to separate itself from the moment of here, I support and assist myself through breathing bringing me back to the physical reality.

When and as I see myself limiting my reality with exploring the environment around me, I stop and I breathe. I realise that this is just a pattern/program running, and through this understanding I support and assist myself through breathing, and directing myself towards a “goal” of what to explore within the environment through observing it with my physical eyes.

When and as I see myself limiting myself by being shy, I stop and I breathe. I realise that this is just a pattern within my mind, and through this understanding I direct myself within the moment of breath, to open my mouth and to speak/say whatever I need to get across to the other person.

When and as I see myself fear for the reaction I might get out of the person whom I am communicating with, I stop, I breathe. I realise that this fear is not real, and whatever the reaction will be from this person, will not hurt/hinder me, except for when and if I allow it.

When and as I see myself defying myself by what others think of me, I stop and I breathe. I realise that the thoughts they have about me is obsolete, it is no use to me, or may influence me except for if I allow it to.

When and as I see myself getting stuck within reality, being stationary within the moment, I stop and I breathe. I realise that I am not moving, I am not Directing myself to the point where I need to be, so I assist myself within the moment of breath, to accept the challenge and responsibility to move myself, to stand up and do what I have to do.

I commit and allow myself to free the people I capture within my little prisons within my mind, to be able to be see them as my one and my equal.

I commit and allow myself to be just here, in this moment, to be aware of my environment, the people within and to realise, this is real, this is the physical reality and that I am alive, just as them.

I commit and allow myself to explore, to set myself a ‘goal’ within the moment of breath, then to stand up and direct myself towards my goal I have set through observing my environment and reality I am experiencing NOW.

I commit and allow myself to speak up when spoken to, to speak up when words are in the need of crossing my lips to communicate effectively, bold but respectful toward my equal.