Day 16 – Is this the Real Life or an RPG? Part 3

When and as I see myself creating an illusion within my mind, which I experience as “real” I stop and I breathe. I realise that it is only an illusion, and my reality is here at the moment as what I see it with my physical eyes, which means I embrace the place and the people around me, as real, physical reality.

When and as I see myself creating little boxes for people to identify them with, as higher, lower, or equal to me, I stop and I breathe. I realise that we all have the equal chance to live this life within the moment that is here and now in the physical reality, with no separation, groupings, and little boxes/levels to identify each other.

When and as I see myself experiencing a moment where no one and nothing is real, a moment of me separating myself from reality, I stop and I BREATHE. I realise that this is just an illusion, and this experience is the actually experience that is not real, so I assist and support myself through breathing and bringing myself back to the physical reality what is here and now.

When and as I see myself creating a barrier between me and reality, I stop and I breathe. I realise this is my mind playing its part in self-interest, wanting to separate itself from the moment of here, I support and assist myself through breathing bringing me back to the physical reality.

When and as I see myself limiting my reality with exploring the environment around me, I stop and I breathe. I realise that this is just a pattern/program running, and through this understanding I support and assist myself through breathing, and directing myself towards a “goal” of what to explore within the environment through observing it with my physical eyes.

When and as I see myself limiting myself by being shy, I stop and I breathe. I realise that this is just a pattern within my mind, and through this understanding I direct myself within the moment of breath, to open my mouth and to speak/say whatever I need to get across to the other person.

When and as I see myself fear for the reaction I might get out of the person whom I am communicating with, I stop, I breathe. I realise that this fear is not real, and whatever the reaction will be from this person, will not hurt/hinder me, except for when and if I allow it.

When and as I see myself defying myself by what others think of me, I stop and I breathe. I realise that the thoughts they have about me is obsolete, it is no use to me, or may influence me except for if I allow it to.

When and as I see myself getting stuck within reality, being stationary within the moment, I stop and I breathe. I realise that I am not moving, I am not Directing myself to the point where I need to be, so I assist myself within the moment of breath, to accept the challenge and responsibility to move myself, to stand up and do what I have to do.

I commit and allow myself to free the people I capture within my little prisons within my mind, to be able to be see them as my one and my equal.

I commit and allow myself to be just here, in this moment, to be aware of my environment, the people within and to realise, this is real, this is the physical reality and that I am alive, just as them.

I commit and allow myself to explore, to set myself a ‘goal’ within the moment of breath, then to stand up and direct myself towards my goal I have set through observing my environment and reality I am experiencing NOW.

I commit and allow myself to speak up when spoken to, to speak up when words are in the need of crossing my lips to communicate effectively, bold but respectful toward my equal.

Day 15 – Is this the Real Life or an RPG? Part 2

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a random illusion within my mind, where I see everybody as objects or non-living organisms and separating myself from the physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to capture people and their everyday lives into a tiny prison, separating them from me and my reality, seeing them as unimportant as they are just doing whatever they are busy with, thinking it has no influence on me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like nothing around me is real, no one is real, and that my reality is fake, and not here, meaning I am not living within the moment, as here in the physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe no one is real, except for me, and thus separating myself from them, and reality. Creating a barrier between me and them, and classifying myself above them for I am the only living person here, creating an inequality within me, and towards other people.

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be controlled by this narrator, which is me and my system, patterns and programs running me, or actually just killing me, separating me from reality and the moment of now.

I forgive myself for I have accepted and allowed myself to experience disillusionment after the illusion has taken place, not bringing me back to the moment of here, in the physical reality, but deeper into my mind, and my systems running this mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself, for not going out into this world and explore, and see what’s new out there, to live, and take each moment as it is.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be shy, to not want to speak up because I fear what their reaction may be, even thou I know that no one will “bite” or hurt me, by just speaking a few words.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold myself back from talking to strangers, because I fear they may not like me, or reject me, influencing my way of how I “think” about myself, whilst this is also a system within me, powered by me.

I forgive myself for I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what others may think of me, creating a reaction within me, where I would retract myself from speaking up, or being bold, in the moment as here and as now, to be able to just talk, and enjoy the conversation of a stranger.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am only a computer (RPG) game/character, and that I am in a stationary position, only capable of doing what my “coding (Software)” tells me I can do.

Day 14 – Is this the Real Life or an RPG?

Is this world I’m born into a massive Role Playing Game (RPG) or is this the physical reality/real life (Something I haven’t realised within myself yet)? This question would pop up after I have had a random illusion within my mind, when seeing the world around me, seeing people doing their “thing”, being “themselves” and continuing with their everyday lives, like someone or something told them to do so.

In this moment (The illusion) I would experience a feeling where I would feel like nothing I see or observe in my environment is real, the people are not real, the objects and world around me is not real, nothing is REAL, but me – my mind/conscious.

The people I see, they seem to be Non-Player Characters (NPC) in this game I am playing. The objects around me are designed out of pixels, and 3D models with animations attached to them, with no one controlling these NPC’s but the story teller (The Narrator, who the fuck is this narrator, anyone?), I’d say the narrator is the systems running within each and everyone’s mind, telling them to do what and when. Systems created by themselves/parents/friends/environment etc.

After all of this, in the state of disillusionment, and after asking the question, I would go further and ask myself... if this life is an RPG (as my experience just now would suggest), why am I still sitting here in an office, or in my home, or at the mall doing nothing but the ordinary thing 95% of our population does? Why don’t I go out there and explore, why don’t I strike up a random-ass conversation with the one next to me like in an RPG, creating a new contact/friend/partner/companion, or go out in the wild and explore nature, or just do my own thing through expressing myself?

Why do I limit myself like this? Then I realise, at this moment I AM only an RPG character just like everyone else out there who I see doing their “own thing” each and every day. The difference is I am more like an NPC within this RPG. We as humans are programmed with limited software; we only have a few patterns and programs running within this software (the mind) to get us through life, without realising that we are not even living one day of our lives.

Within this ‘separation of reality’ experience I just had, I have to realise that this RPG (game) should be uninstalled", and be re-written within my life to be able for me (and everyone else) to LIVE each day, within each moment, as here and as now in the physical reality.

Be one and equal.

Next post - SF

Day 6 – The Extraordinary Experience, Part 2

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a fixed point in my own timeline, where I see it as an first experience, creating and attaching enormous amounts of emotions and feelings toward the memory, hindering my experience of anything new that my come along.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a place within my mind where I store all these first time memories, which I can easily recall and enjoy for a moment, just to be followed-up by a setback of negative emotions, and the realisation of the reality that is no more, the reality which is the past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live these moments/memories of the past out in every new game or event within my live that can be referenced back to my first experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find everything I do uninteresting or boring, because I have a view of the past, which gives me a projection of a possible future, spoiling the moment of now, the present.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create extraordinary events within my life, especially if it’s a first experience, creating a polarity effect where I compare the first event’s experience with the second, taking away my enjoyment, the moment, and the breath of the moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the past/future where I compare and reference the experience, taking away the possibility of living my utmost potential.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give power to this pattern that follows, when I do something I enjoy, but then spoils it by referencing it to the past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be in separation with myself and the reality of now, by living in the past, in my ‘good old memories’ place within my own mind.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that I am in the present, here and now, and that the past is long gone, and that I have to accept for what my reality is now, for what is here in the breath.

Day 5 – The Extraordinary Experience

First experience, very common but extraordinary, is it not? Your mind see it as extraordinary, because there is something new that you have experienced, can live out, explore, something else you can be – for example my very first time I played a computer game. It was mind blowing, I could not believe what I was experiencing, how wonderful and awesome it was, to run around in an artificial world shooting other people, or building my very own war base to conquer my greatest enemy, or to constructing my own city and be the ruler of all, or my favorite type of game… Where I can run around defeat creatures and explore the world that was created for me.

But, what happens after the second or third time experiencing these cool types of games these “new extraordinary experiences”? It starts to faint, and become normal. You get used to it, it seems to be very ordinary, and you get bored with it. Now you realize there’s something missing and you want to go out in the world and find more and more of these games to play to fill this ‘gap’ or ‘hole’ you have created by not being satisfied with what you have, and had experienced. You keep on remembering the first time, how awesome it was, but it seems that this effect just isn’t there anymore, with a horrible fallback, of sadness and emptiness, remembering only the good old times...

This is the point I want to make, with everything in life it works like this, and through this process of ‘how my mind was programmed to perceive it’ I have fucked myself. I find no interest in anything I do, or want to do because I know how it will end, in just another daily activity, or interest being repeated with a sad memory of the very first time where it was so new, so extraordinary to me, and referencing it to where I am now, and it just doesn’t feel the same anymore.

Now the pattern works as follow: Through recalling memories from the past, from your first experiences if it was an extraordinary experience, with the emotions and feelings attached to the memory it is taking away the moment of now, of living in the present. It takes away all of the new possibilities, the new experience, the new extraordinary, the PRESENT of now.

This is where the first principle of what I live by comes into action - Realising and living my utmost potential to realise that this is all just programs/patterns imprinted into my mind, with some feelings and emotions attached to it and to work through it by writing myself to freedom, and while doing so, to live out my utmost potential in every moment of breath even if it is through playing computer games.

Extraordinary Dictionary Definition - Beyond what is ordinary or usual: Highly unusual or exceptional or remarkable

Imprint Dictionary definition - We imprint our ideas onto our children